“The deeper I go into myself the more I realize that I am my own enemy.”
― Floriano Martins
Sitting in the airport after a long flight, waiting for my parent, who were coming in from a different place, to land- I had a rare moment to myself- just me; without any compulsions, no expectations and no work at all what-so-ever. Airports- a place where one can spend a whole day without getting bored. It is a place where dreams come true and all emotion are present simultaneously in a muddled thought of different people. What are the chances that the guy next to you is not thinking the same thing you are or that the old couple in the seat across yours’ is leaving their son’s family and going home just as you are leaving home to get back to your life in a foreign city. Sometimes I feel lonely when I leave home and seeing those families going on vacation to Ladakh absolutely tear me up. Smiling faces, sad faces, indecisive faces, despairing faces, apprehensive faces, ecstatic faces, scared faces, indifferent faces, all of them together under one roof- a sort of collective thought process, all very different from each other and yet have the same underlying feeling- one of change. No other place is a classic example of how nothing in the world is ever constant. Flights are leaving, flights are arriving, flights are getting delayed and flights are getting cancelled. Success, failure, stagnation and death all under one roof called life.
I remember having spent the Christmas of 2010 stranded in the Delhi airport with my little sister. We spent 10 hours sitting on the floor of the airport observing people around us. When some neighbor got even as intimate with us as to say “oh my, how much longer will it take”, their boarding call came in no time. Isn’t that what happens in life? When you get close enough to a person to tell them about your hopes, fears and aspirations- they leave. It’s funny how we teach our youngsters to love and get to know people until you know their every breath and then life turns on a dime and just snatches away that very person you were trying to figure out. Then the baffled elders have nothing more to say than “it’s okay, you are still young. You will find someone…just give it more time. He/she wasn’t meant to stay.” Then you feel sad, hope and wait for the next person to come along and he/she does and you try yet again with fresh hope and faith and it works out for a couple of days, months or if you are lucky it might work out for a few years and then again life has to be a hard task master with a cane and take him/her away. Then what? You aren’t young anymore, you don’t have faith left, nor do you have any more place in your heart to adjust and make all those initial efforts. Then you go back to those people who had given you the initial advice of “get to know a person with all your heart” and question them. It is then that you realize that they have been lying to themselves all this while. They have gone through the same thing as you and they could never have told you to start life on a negative note. How could they have told you, “think atleast a hundred times before you give your heart to someone else and do not ever give it away completely.”
You had to learn it yourself. You had to go through all the pain and hurt yourself. No one would do it for you. You felt the love and I don’t just mean romantic love. It can be any sort of love- a feeling no one and nothing can ever compete with. We are all on the same boat sailing towards eternal doom. At the end it is all stardust and nothing more. Love is a victory trophy given only to the worthy and eternal love is non-existent. In the words of Avicii- life is a game meant for everyone and that love is the prize.
“The only constant is change.”- True enough. Never realized it more than when I had to sit in an airport for almost an hour just observing J